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There was an awkward silence, then I was surprised.“I’m just not sure I can trust you. What I want to tell you could ruin someone’s life.”I owed her, she could have said nothing and I would have been an unwitting cuckold. It would have been an ongoing thing, I’m sure of that. Jules did me a solid, so I’d keep her secret, it’s the least I could do.“You helped me out, so whatever you tell me will stay between us. I owe you.”“Well, I have a boyfriend, but don’t at the same time. Derrick is the co-captain of the Eagles Landing basketball team, he’s also gay.”That was surprising, but not shocking. I mean middle Georgia wasn’t a big gay haven in 1994. Hell, it was probably extremely hostile at this time. Personally, I didn’t give a shit who somebody was fucking. Just don’t involve me in the act or back off if I think you’re overstepping with me and we’d be good. Having someone that could distract from unwanted attention was a good idea if you didn’t want to come out of the closet.“So,. . at least for this year. They were the trail of bread crumbs you followed back to me. Without your concern for them, you never would have come. You were so concerned about the chasers that you were blind to the clean base. It's still a bit of a blind-spot for you." What the fuck do you mean? I know it's the base I'm addicted to. I know that's how you got me." And yet when you come here begging me for a clean dose, the only thing you're worried about is what the chasers will make you do. You're not asking the big questions. You're just worried about how you'll spend the next 8 to 12 hours of your life."Sobbing."I don't blame you, really ... if I were in your shoes, I'd be worried about the chaser too. Will I turn you into a pliant little party-girl, but spare you the memories with something like benzodiazepine? Maybe I'll fuck you up on sodium pentathol, and let one of the psych kids drag every last private thought from your head. Or maybe I'll keep you painfully alert, but paralyzed.
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